stock: white

Mississippi Personhood Amendment

Originally posted by eppic at Mississippi Personhood Amendment
Originally posted by twbasketcase at Mississippi Personhood Amendment
Originally posted by gabrielleabelle at Mississippi Personhood Amendment
Okay, so I don't usually do this, but this is an issue near and dear to me and this is getting very little no attention in the mainstream media.

Mississippi is voting on November 8th on whether to pass Amendment 26, the "Personhood Amendment". This amendment would grant fertilized eggs and fetuses personhood status.

Putting aside the contentious issue of abortion, this would effectively outlaw birth control and criminalize women who have miscarriages. This is not a good thing.

Jackson Women's Health Organization is the only place women can get abortions in the entire state, and they are trying to launch a grassroots movement against this amendment. This doesn't just apply to Mississippi, though, as Personhood USA, the group that introduced this amendment, is trying to introduce identical amendments in all 50 states.

What's more, in Mississippi, this amendment is expected to pass. It even has Mississippi Democrats, including the Attorney General, Jim Hood, backing it.

The reason I'm posting this here is because I made a meager donation to the Jackson Women's Health Organization this morning, and I received a personal email back hours later - on a Sunday - thanking me and noting that I'm one of the first "outside" people to contribute.

So if you sometimes pass on political action because you figure that enough other people will do something to make a difference, make an exception on this one. My RSS reader is near silent on this amendment. I only found out about it through a feminist blog. The mainstream media is not reporting on it.

If there is ever a time to donate or send a letter in protest, this would be it.

What to do?

- Read up on it. Wake Up, Mississippi is the home of the grassroots effort to fight this amendment. Daily Kos also has a thorough story on it.

- If you can afford it, you can donate at the site's link.

- You can contact the Democratic National Committee to see why more of our representatives aren't speaking out against this.

- Like this Facebook page to help spread awareness.

stock: medieval monster book

i refuse to watch. i really do.

Oh, they're bringing Jo back to Supernatural for an episode. Why do you do this to me, show? I stopped watching you! And now I'm having a lot of feelings. Going on Supernatural's track record, I'm going to say they're bringing her back to somehow make her evil. But...but maybe not?

And it's that little "maybe not" that means I'm going to suck it up and watch the damn thing.
twilight: porn

breaking dawn: an ending

So I finished up BD while driving to work this morning, and I guess I'm stronger now? Let's discuss the finer points:

1. J. Fucking Jenks
What the fuck? Seriously? You took THAT LONG describing how TERRIBLY IMPORTANT it is to get the Doom Baby proper papers so Jacob can legally spirit her out of the country? The boy spent portions of this book in Canada? I am 100% positive that he didn't show customs his passport on the way back in for Bella's wedding. I am just gobsmacked--yes, gobsmacked--that in a 750+ page novel, this actually merits more than two paragraphs of my time. An editor should have taken SMeyer aside, showed her every page with the name J Jenks on it, and burned it in front of her to get the point across that THIS. IS. STUPID. STORYTELLING.

2. Chess
So I read somewhere that SMeyer wanted the big confrontation at the end to be more of a game of wits and strategy than physical action. This is probably because she's only ever moved her stories along by forcing people to talk instead of act. Which is fine, if boring. So that was the problem with the majority of the scene with the Volturi. They sat around in a field and tried to "outwit" each other, which is a scream, let me tell you. That goes on for like a trillion pages and then finally the Volturi take their toys and go home. Everyone celebrates by kissing and hugging.

3. The Shapeshifters
So apparently Jacob is not a werewolf. He's a shapeshifter. Fun new fact to throw at us after a couple thousand pages with only a couple chapters left! And then Edward's all like, "Yeah, I kinda knew that all along. I mean, notice how it's day outside and here's Jacob in wolf form? Am I the only one with sense here?" And Bella's all, "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS EARLIER?" And he says, literally, "It didn't come up."

Uh, Edward, I think it came up back in New Moon. You know, when all those guys suddenly turned into wolves? You couldn't have mentioned this back then?

4. The Set Up
So the only way the Cullens get out of not being destroyed is the appearance of Nahuel, hybrid vampire baby of doom who is 150 years old. Huzzah! Nahuel didn't end the world o' vampire, and this means everyone can stop freaking out about Doom Baby Nessie aging and eventually looking, like, old and stuff. That would be horrible. But, just so we're clear, don't think Nahuel is getting out of this without a not so subtle jab that he'll be vying with Jacob over little Nessie's heart in a short six and a half years.

And here's the thing: I totally think Nahuel is going to win. Lots of people have put a lot of emphasis on how disgusting/crazy it is that Jacob imprints on Nessie, the Doom Baby. I, too, think it's disgusting. Don't get me wrong. Imprinting has a bunch of offensively hilarious problems with it, pedophilia being the worst and most shocking of them all. How SMeyer doesn't get called out repeatedly on her shit is one of the problems I pondered a lot while listening to this. That said, SMeyer tempers the batshit by informing us repeatedly through Jacob that he is not romantically interested in the Doom Baby. Whether or not he means he's not romantically interested now is not exactly put to much scrutiny, since that would raise the pedophile flag again...not that SMeyer hadn't gone there before, because she already did. Regardless, she seems to go out of her way to insist that Jacob is only attached to Doom Baby in a platonic sense. Nahuel isn't bound by that predicament. Plus, there's this little nugget from Cleolinda that packages up SMeyer's potential spin off Twilight stories with a nice little bow. And details why it's so awful, of course.

Thus, Jacob is definitely ending up with Leah. AS IT SHOULD BE.

5. Um...the rest?
Everything is sunshine and butterflies! Not one of them dies! Not one dirty diaper needed to be changed. Marriage is 24/7 bliss. Whatever downsides vampirism may have had are no longer important because Bella can keep Jacob around now...he's practically, um, family! In a platonic sense! Her dad is remarkably okay with all of this! Just don't say the word "vampire" around him. It is a literal happy ending. No one suffered except for the one girl who had it coming, and honestly no one cares about anyone who is not a Cullen family member. So she doesn't even count.

6. Free Will
Garrett delivers a lengthy monologue about how the Volturi are taking away their free the Volturi. That takes balls, Garrett. You're now officially my favorite character. If only you didn't exist in a SMeyer novel! I'm sure someone else would have written you well as a main character. Anyway. What is this free will thing? Am I supposed to believe people had free will in this book to begin with? The wolves imprint, which isn't exactly free will. Turns out Jacob was never attracted to Bella at all because he was attracted to the potential of the Doom Baby hovering around in Bella's that's not exactly free will either. Bella and Edward are so codependent it's hard to figure out what's going on there. Regardless, I think it's hilarious that they're all pissed at the Volturi about free will when the whole thing has been about taking that very thing away from every character in the book, relationship-wise, since day one.

7. The Mormon Allegory
It's far more amusing when read that way. Just sayin'. (I do not think at all that SMeyer wrote this to be a Mormon allegory, but the chances she wrote one without realizing are pretty high.)

I think I'm done with this now. I could keep going, but I'm just completely done. No more SMeyer for me!

Unless she writes a story about, never mind. She'll ruin him.
30 Rock: jack/liz

breaking dawn: part...whatever.

One word: boring.

I think I'm about 81% through this colossal waste of time, trees, energy, money, and possibly sanity. Bella is running around with a rapid-growth human/vampire monster baby clinging to her back like a blood sucking monkey with exceptionally pretty hair. There is a sudden influx of seventeen vampires, most of which are the dining on humans variety, that even results in Smeyer musing that no one will ever keep them all straight. And we can't, believe me. A Garrett popped up with a speaking role and I didn't even bother questioning it. It was like, "Hey, Garrett! I'm sure your opinion is super important or something!"

So, basically, Bella is an awesome vampire, you guys. She has such amazing self-control that Carlisle muses that not killing people might be her super power.

(I would like to point out that vampire super powers are lame. Smeyer Vampires are the X-Men, which is just fine, but they're not nearly as interesting. They wear clothes in neutral tones, and their super powers are, in most cases, just hyperactive feelings. Occasionally one of them comes along with something useful to show off--zapping people like a human taser, making it rain or something, seeing the future, reading minds--but most of them are super, super lame. For instance, Renesmee's is apparently showing people instead of telling them with her brain. Woohoo. Also, how does it make sense for Alice and Jasper's powers to pick up on Bella when no one else can? It's rather convenient that only certain people can get a read on her while others can't, ie. the Volturi.)

Of course, we all know that Bella's vampire super power is being a human shield, which, let me tell you, is mind bogglingly boring to read about. Bella running around killing mountain lions managed to offend me, because seriously why are you killing predators? Kill the overpopulated dear, for fuck's sake! And if I have to read the word "feeble" one more time I am going to rip the CD out of my car and fling it onto the highway!


Okay. So Renesmee is a child prodigy four year old or something, but she's really about a month old. She can talk in full sentences, because learning grammar is for pussies. Then she runs off and kills an elk or something, which...she's seriously like a toddler. Just try to envision this. I can't. I try and my brain implodes.

Then Jacob takes it upon himself to show Bella's dad that he's a werewolf, and yeah, Bella might not be entirely human either and is he okay with this? Sure! Just don't say the word vampire, because then he'd have to become one. Although I don't get why they wouldn't want him to become a vampire, because it's not like being a vampire is a life worse than death. Usually you want to save people from certain doom, not eternal life being a god with awesome hyperactive emotive powers. There is no logic here! Anyway, they decide to keep this Bella is a shhh!vampire from mom, though, because we know she'd freak. (I don't think she'd freak. I think she'd think it was awesome, given how cavalier she was about Bella's wedding.)

Then, randomly, some vampire chick gets all huffy after seeing Renesmee down this deer and automatically assumes that it's the dreaded vampire child instead of the vampire/human child of doom and runs off to tell the Volturi, who decide to pack up the wives and do some serious killing. Only it's going to take them, like, maybe three months to get there? Despite them probably knowing where the Cullens live? Or...I don't know. Admittedly, I zone in and out because it's so effing boring and everyone won't stop talking.

So they get this idea to call all their friends to their aid. All seventeen of them! And suddenly we're swamped with vampires who all have to have individual reactions to how awesome Renesmee is and it is disgusting how much they all love her. Then Bella gets it into her head to have Edward teach her to fight, but he's a huge brooding dork about it and gets all "it's too real, OMG I'm having a panic attack" while Bella sulks and goes to get Emmett, spender of much time talking to everyone about Bella's sex life.

To be totally honest, Edward in this book is a complete waste of space. When Bella's not obsessing over how perfect he is (a la Twilight through part one of Breaking Dawn) he's just this guy who takes up space and says the word "love" as a term of endearment all the time, which is the first time that word has irritated me past the point of no return. It's remarkable how he went from front and center, to this guy who's around and sometimes says things.

A lot of this is doom baby's presence. Instead of being all dazzled (seriously, that's the other word I get all ragey over because she uses it all the time) by Edward, Bella is dazzled by Renesmee because she is the doom baby/ultimate mary sue and how can she not be obsessed with her?

Then there's the problem of the seventeen vamp friends, many of whom eat humans. HOWEVER, out of respect for the Cullens and the werewolves, they do this in, like, the county over. There is MASS MURDER going on in the county over and it is ALL BELLA'S FAULT and she gives that about two seconds of thought. Why? Because they're merely mortal, imperfect, nonglittery humans! They are all accessories to murder, consorting with murderers, and think that it's hunky dory and I couldn't help but think to myself that this is where these stupid girl/vampire stories hit a wall. Right here. HELLO. VAMPIRES KILL PEOPLE. It's like falling in love with a serial killer, and how often does that happen in YA fiction? Even the "good" vampires slip up. For instance, the Vampire Diaries. Stefan ran around killing people left and right because he's a blood alcoholic (yay for easy justifications!), and Elena's all "I love you, but seriously killing people is, like, a downer" while she's in serious sexual tension with Damon, the flagrant human killer. I seriously doubt Elena's reasoning capabilities at this point. Much like Sookie and Bella. The only one who ever gets out of it is Buffy, and only because she's awesome and that show managed to have some sort of moral compass. There were consequences. There are NONE in Twilight, The Vampire Diaries and True Blood. Sure, Damon and Stefan and Bill and Edward and Spike and ANGEL are all broody and tortured, but mainly it's because they aren't freaking human, not because they're running around killing people. It's just kill! Kill, kill, kill! And then sex/cuddling with the idiotic human girl who spurs on their brooding because they live forever and immortality is so hard and cry me a river.

I seriously am taking a break from vampire fiction after this. Except for True Blood, because the hilarity surrounding the Sookie/Bill/Eric dynamic keeps me intrigued.

I feel like I have more to say about this stupidity, but the main consensus is BORING. I'm not even really that offended anymore. Just confused, slightly horrified by the bad writing, and bored.
stock: warning

Breaking Dawn: part trois

I've got to say, Jacob's portion of Breaking Dawn was dull enough to cause my irritated stabbing at the forward button so I could get to the bloody birthing scene. The scene which is infamous for its horrifying gore, which I suppose would have been horrifying had it not been written by Stephenie Meyer. Anyway, some points:

1. Holy Crow!
Bella, no one says "holy crow." Well, apparently Mormons say "holy crow" a whole lot, because cursing is forbidden, but aren't we just switching out a word that is widely understood as a curse word with a special, Mormon curse word? Doesn't that make "crow" just as bad as shit and crap and fuck? Isn't the point of forbidding cursing to, I don't know, not curse at all? When something unexpected happens, one is supposed to say, "Why, that's unexpected! How surprising!" Not "holy crow!" And thus ends my discussion on how forbidding cursing is stupid.

2. Blah blah blah
Moving on. Jacob is far more dull than I would have thought possible. However, I maintain that his personality was butchered in the later half of New Moon when he became a werewolf, and, as we all know, most male supernatural creatures are jerks stripped of personality the moment they break the laws of nature. Anyway, Jacob's pack decides to kill Bella (which we all know they're not going to do, because they're just not) and Jacob has his come to Jesus moment and suddenly becomes an Alpha and runs off to warn the Cullens. This sparks a lot of talking. A lot. All the while, Jacob is pissed that Bella actually likes having him around (she's married, and married women are not supposed to enjoy the company of other men even in a platonic sense, obviously). Edward spends all his time clinging to Bella's leg like a spider monkey and trying not to sob his perfect topaz/black/red eyes out. Bella's dealing with the Monster Baby, which is somehow cracking her ribs despite the fact that the placenta is made out of vampire skin (somehow) and is like a bubble of steel. If the baby is in a steel bubble, how the fuck can it even technically harm Bella?

Well, never you mind. That's logic encroaching on craziness, and there's so much left to wade through. I started skipping forward drastically, because Jacob is reticent to let the Cullens feed and clothe him and that's about 90% of his time as the narrator. No, Jacob doesn't want your bacon and your beige slacks! God! But he does apparently take Edward's Aston Martin to go lady cruising at the mall.

Back to Bella, she's discovered that blood tastes great! After three whole books of freaking out and panicking every time she gets a paper cut. Monster Baby loves blood, but eventually Bella clumsily tries to pick up a cup and all hell breaks loose. There's projectile blood vomiting leading to a clothes explosion that is followed by spine breakage. Then Edward does chow down on her stomach to get the baby out of the vampire steel bubble. More blood. Blood, blood, blood. Then the baby has the nerve to bite Bella before the vampiring begins and Jacob feels the pull he had toward Bella literally shift out the door. He decides she's died, because Bella's life is all about his lust, I suppose. Only then he walks outside, having come to the decision to kill everyone except Edward, and discovers that Monster Baby is his true forever love. Huzzah! Confetti for everyone!

Actually, for a few minutes there I felt this was actually some very nice insight into the mind of a pedophile. I'm sure that wasn't what Steph was going for, but it's what I was thinking.

3. Back to Bella. Officially.
Apparently she's in so much pain she wants to die, but since she can't die anymore she'll just have to put up with it. But instead of screaming and flailing around, which she'd really like to do, she doesn't because that would upset Edward. God knows we can't upset him, because he's spending the entire several hours breathing on her face while his vampire venom (which I suppose he...milked from his teeth or...somewhere?) repairs her spine and vital organs and makes her all perfectly perfect in every perfect way. Bella counts the seconds, which is a not so handy way of telling us six or so hours pass until she can ninja out of the bed and be awesome. Also, looking at Edward causes her to lose her speech. She literally needs another synonym for perfect, because Edward's face has eclipsed "perfect". Becoming a vampire doesn't mean she's been reborn with a bigger vocabulary, unfortunately. May I suggest sublime?

Up next: Bella outvampires everyone, her climb to the heights of Mary Suedom complete.
stock: white

Breaking Dawn, Part Deux

So let's talk a little about what I've encountered today:

1. Bella's Pregnancy o' Doom.
So I sort of started laughing hysterically when Carlisle said, "When was the first day of your last menstrual cycle?" It was just too hilarious. This is a MONSTER BABY, Carlisle. I think the first thing we need to be addressing here is how Edward still has viable sperm. But wait, I already know that story and it's craaazy, so I understand why we want to hold off on that little nugget of wisdom. Still, Bella comes to the conclusion that she's pregnant and Edward literally goes into shock. Bella is suddenly all astute and shit and realizes she needs a power player in her corner because she's in a SCREWED UP relationship where, if she doesn't have a power player protecting her, her FUCKING HUSBAND is going to coerce her into an abortion. To the point of drugging her up, strapping her down, and having it performed against her will. (No, seriously.) So she gets baby-loving Rosalie (who hated Bella previously, but now apparently doesn't because her womb is occupied) to hold her puke bucket and hiss at people who come near Bella with a needle.

Yup. Fun stuff.

So then Bella is fighting off all the vampires who are all "hey, this is a bad idea. you're like, not strong enough and possess a lady brain that can't understand how bad this is. let us do the thinking for you!" and the baby is literally punching Bella and bruising her from the inside. This girl. THIS GIRL. If it's not her husband, it's her fetus.

2. Jacob Is A Prick.
He is! He hates everyone, punches people in the nose for no reason, and has the nerve to fantasize about Bella being all swollen with his kids in the most awesomely HORRIBLE IDEA EVER brought to you by...

Seriously, does he even know his own wife? Did he bother to listen to Bella at all, or get to know her, before entering into wedding bliss with her? Or were they just sitting around staring at each other because they're pretty? (Don't answer. We know the answer. It's obvious.)

Edward's solution, at least in the short term, to the Pregnancy o' Doom is to a) completely panic, b) hatch a failed plan to abort Monster Baby o' Doom against Bella's will involving straps and drugs (yes, seriously) and c) convince Jacob that they can convince Bella to abort his kid and carry Jacob's instead. NO SERIOUSLY.

Okay, let's regroup on that last one. Edward assumes that Bella wants to keep the kid because, hey, it's a kid. Kids are, like, interchangeable! Surely Bella won't care what kid she's got cooking in her freesia-scented womb because she's a baby-loving female and females are nondiscriminatory about fetuses. Any fetus is just as good as the next to a lady. What do they know? They just want to nurture! So he decides that since Bella is so in love with Monster Baby, which will surely kill her since Monster Babies have this nasty tendency to get confused during birth and take the wrong path out, the logical conclusion is to convince her to abort Monster Baby and start over again with another baby. A baby that is part Jacob! We can all be happy living in some odd polyamorous relationship where Bella births puppies on the weekends, because babies make Bella's lady brain happy and Edward just wants to please Bella/stop the Monster Baby from eating its way out of her womb instead of taking the logical path out like all the smarter human babies. And Jacob is all "THE HELL" while secretly enjoying the idea of using Bella like a video rental. That is exactly the term he uses. Bella the video rental!

And so Jacob runs this idea past Bella...sort of...and Bella's response is that Edward loves her so much. He is in so much man pain. Or something. Look at his suffering, OMG it's so beautiful and she doesn't deserve either of them OMG OMG Monster Baby Kicking Spleen OMG dazzle. She totally misses the point that Edward was happily signing her up for a relationship she clearly wasn't going to sign up for because he effing loves her.

Just. What. The fuck. I can't even. NO.

So. Offensiveness to both sexes aside, why did Edward even think that idea was going to work? It's stupid. He is stupid. This book is stupid. I can't. I just...can't. But I will. By god, I will.
twilight: porn

i failed the first time.

I'm listening to Breaking Dawn during my commute, since a friend of mine, who shall remain nameless, peer pressured me into it. I'm having a lot of feelings, mainly while I'm driving. It's horrible.


I haven't gotten out of the honeymoon yet, and wow is there a lot of manipulation going on. Edward is withholding sex, Bella is manipulating him into sex by promising to put off becoming a vampire (since to become a vampire is to give up a certain level of humanity/human emotion/sensation, although I honestly think this is absolutely ridiculous because clearly every single Cullen is making out just fine in this department). Bella whines and bitches and goes so far as to burst into tears because she woke up during a sex dream to a reality in which Edward was withholding sex. The horror, you guys!

And then he gave in to her weak, female, human tears and broke the bed.

ALSO, for a girl who is obsessed with sex, how can she literally not remember things like exploding pillows and shattered beds? Who doesn't remember sex that resulted in those things? Does Edward's godlike marble presence cause her to fall into a sex coma during the act? And what is up with the sex of doom, anyway? Edward is not the cartoon Tasmanian Devil. I think he can figure out how to deflower Bella and not break things/kill her.

And the arguments. They are on their honeymoon and I cringe every time one of them talks. It would be one thing if they were in some sort of agreed upon sadomasochistic relationship, but they are not. Bella's all "am I in trouble?" and I'm thinking "dude, you just want sex, and clearly you're living through this so what the fuck is the big deal? maybe you should just explain to the guy that you like bruises, because CLEARLY YOU DO." And Edward. Oh my god, I hate him. I can't even pull together my thoughts on my level of hate.

I have gotten through two discs and it's such a tidal wave of issues that I want to scream at someone...anyone...about my many, many problems with this crap ton of shit, but I can't organize these thoughts into intelligent points for sane discourse.


I'm going to go to Pittsburgh tomorrow, and I'm going to listen to it the whole damn way.